There are so many times in your life when significant things happen and you least expect them. Much less frequently, you know well in advance when your life will experiencing a drastic change. Friday, my sister knew that her life would be forever altered. She knew months in advance that the time slot between 5:30 am and 7:30 am on February 20th, 2015 would mark the final time that she brought a new life into the world. In the preceding months she lamented over the decision to have a tubal ligation, a process that would forever end her ability to become pregnant again. During our morning chats we discussed the pros and cons and made snide jokes about sex with wild abandon. But through all of that, we focused more heavily on the excitement of bringing Kloe into the world: her third, and last, baby.
I could feel the electric excitement as soon as I walked into the recovery room on Friday morning. Sarah's procedure had been bumped due to an emergency, so Kloe arrived slightly later than planned. The entire area was ripe with elation and relief. And in the middle of it all, this perfect little cherub was wailing and squirming. It took a couple of hours for the room to clear out, but finally it was just Sarah, Kloe, and I. We talked about happy things: about pink bows and fluffy tutus, the impending lack of sleep, and the smell of baby lotion. But we could both feel it.
"Are you sad...."
"A little. This is the last time I'll be holding my brand new baby."
"Do you think you'll ever change your mind?"
"I don't think so. I have three perfect girls. Reversing it is possible, but I think I'm done."
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
It was a simple, but powerful exchange. In that moment, I knew that my sister was one of the strongest people that I've ever known. Of course, after three cesareans, it was pretty obvious. But I feel like she understood that loving the perfect little people she'd already created was far more important than knowing she could do it again. That's really respectable to me. I hope I can tackle this motherhood thing with the grace and poise of my sister if the time ever comes to simply stop.
Here are some candids that I was able to snap with my iPhone. They make my heart happy.
Very proud big sisters, Anna and Emma.
Wishing you all hearts filled with love and happiness.
xo, Karee (& Sarah)
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